You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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