It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I know her cup size but not her name....
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