I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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