He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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