Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
the condom got lost in my hair
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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