I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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