They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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