I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
