woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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