since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize