I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
