she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He has the fingertips of a God
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