No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
