the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
