I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
