Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Too much gin, very little bucket
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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