the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
