I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I enjoy the company of your penis
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
