I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
