he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
