Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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  (440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously i just wanna be friends

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  pass

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  (508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

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  (662): They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say. http://tfl.nu/fs2e
  Replies (70) Good night (10172) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.

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  (302): It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it. http://tfl.nu/3oo8
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  (564): View more from Washington

  I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.

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  (564): I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home. http://tfl.nu/c3b2
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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  (914): I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here. http://tfl.nu/s43y
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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  (260): I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie http://tfl.nu/6pmw
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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  (915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg
  Replies (16) Good night (3659) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

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  (618): I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka http://tfl.nu/yt16
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.

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  (484): We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us. http://tfl.nu/883t
  Replies (4) Good night (1684) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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  (248): Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine http://tfl.nu/ph8k
  Replies (3) Good night (1868) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.

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  (206): What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again? (425): Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing. http://tfl.nu/l4cd
  Replies (11) Good night (4417) Bad night (541)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".

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  (386): Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant". http://tfl.nu/zn3b
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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  (407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe
  Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

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  (916): I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/ei5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1061) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt

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