I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?