the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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