If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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