my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize