help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize