remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
