Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
