hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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