What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
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