I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
