My boss' voice literally gives me gas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
