i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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