I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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