Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
