For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
