I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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