i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.