Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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