you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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