I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
