I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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