The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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