Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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