Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
