Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So apparently I’m into choking now
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