I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize