I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Shame is for Republicans.
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