She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
