If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
