I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
