That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
