I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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