Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast