So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.