Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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