Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize