Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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