I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
